The Highest Pleasure of My Affection

by Roxanna 

Earthly Simple Pleasures I enjoy are

• Steaming cup o' joe as soon as my feet hit the morning floor. "Morning Jesus, let's get some coffee."
• Golden glow of the light in my shabby chic hutch as I head to the coffee pot
• The fragrance of healing essential oils
• A fire crackling (although in my little apartment, it is on a tv screen and the app did not come with a crackling sound)
• Sneaking up to the back of the recliner and kissing my husband on his strong, wise, and bald head
• Pandora turned on in my purse for the world to hear None But Jesus by Hillsong- especially the morning elevator ride
• Sitting on my antique rocker, waiting. Asking for Jesus.

"No earthly pleasure is worth a defiled conscience." says Bob Sorge in his book, The Secrets of the Secret Place.

The following truths heighten my conscience at the same time they relieve it based on who He is, not my condition in the early morning hours.

• The secret of being known since before I was conceived in my mother's womb.
• Being fully received and embraced by Him, like a daughter to a daddy.
• Quenching my early morning thirst with living water full of His power, nourishment, and peace
• A hiding place that's portable. He goes with me everywhere I go and shows up as much as He is wanted.

He is my highest pursuit, my highest pleasure, and most satisfying affection. He is the only one worthy of asking for these things. No other person, place, thing, or pleasure can even come close.

I love you Jesus. I am crazy about you.

Perfect Imperfections

by Kim N.

Have you ever said things to yourself like,
"I am so stupid!"
"That was dumb!"
"Why can't I just DO this...I am so slow".

I have ...A LOT!

But I'm learning not to. I am learning to embrace my imperfections because I realized that God gave me imperfections and made me exactly the way He intended. I have a purpose and my imperfections have a purpose too. One of my imperfections is dyslexia.

I guarantee you that God was not creating me in my mom's womb laughing to himself and saying, "oh man...this will be funny. She will be clumsy have trouble in all her math classes and take twice as long than most people to finish her reading assignments. How entertaining!"

No. If I were to guess I'd say God was thinking something like this, "I will allow this imperfection because I know that one day Kim will find joy in the opportunity to depend on me more. I will allow this imperfection so that, through it, I can perfect her spirit. I will allow it so that one day while she is at work, frustrated and fumbling while trying to organize the materials in her hands and the agenda in her mind, she stops- and really begins to live, believing the fact that when she is weak, I am strong."

God has a plan and a purpose for me and my imperfections. As God's beloved daughter I am learning to rejoice in those perfect imperfections because they give me the honor of letting God's power and grace work in my life.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Years of Impurity

The P in Pearl stands for purity.

purity- noun 1. freedom from anything that debases, contaminates, pollutes, etc.

The goal of purity is a beautiful thing. Christian women spend countless years shaming themselves over things that made them impure, rendering herself doomed when it comes to regaining what she once had.

As a young woman who's had years of impurity, I'm here to say that purity is 100% attainable. Even if it's having to reclaim it and do this process more than once.

A process of purity begins with repentance.  Repentance leads to forgiveness, forgiveness leads to surrender, and surrender results in purity of heart.

When I was 14, I lost my virginity to a boy that I stayed with for a few years...This sin led me into a downward spiral of codependency, lust, and a huge amount of brokenness. I lived throughout high school getting in and out of relationships with boys and continued on the path of an impure life. I was under the impression that once you lose your purity, it's gone forever. I labeled myself as an unredeemable wreck, and used this as an excuse to continue on with my lifestyle.

I found myself pregnant a total of three times. I had two abortions and one miscarriage before the age of 18.

Grieving over the decisions I made helped push me to find recovery; and ultimately find truth. The more I learned the truth about purity, the more hope seeped into my shell. See, my little pearl was in a dark, uncomfortable, and parasite-filled shell. I was fed lies that I believed for years.. but JESUS taught me about who he is, and redeemed my lost time. I deserve hell, but he gives me life. I deserve all of the wrath against my sin, but he gives me grace.

Pure happens when you accept the grace that's offered up for you. It doesn't come from knowing that Jesus died for you, it's understanding why Jesus died for you, and what he saved you from. My purity doesn't come from living a sinless life, it comes from the grace of Jesus Christ.

-By Sydney

This is Rox. As I was typing in Sydney's blog, I had a revelation on this subject of purity to add to the discussion. Pure, as Sydney says in the last paragraph"comes when you accept the grace that's offered up for you." I really think it is helpful to think of pure and purity as related, but yet different things. Pure does come when we accept Jesus' perfect work on the cross for our sin. His righteousness becomes ours when we lay down our pride, repent, and accept this amazing gift.

 But purity is the way the heart  follows after Jesus who is Pure upon realizing the preciousness of the gift. One doesn't throw the gift of pure around. It is a pearl to treasure. For example, if I truly see the preciosity of the grace covering over my horrific sins, then the preciousness of Pure Jesus, who provides it, will become my everything. I will affectionately long for and cling to Pure Jesus in holy reverence, that I might not cross back over to a pattern of choosing contaminates as the above definition describes.

In short: Pure is the gift. Purity is a lifestyle of living from the connection with Jesus who placed Pure in you.

Heavenly Father, if there is someone reading this who wants to feel accepted, clean, and like she has a new start, place the pearl of your Jesus upon her heart, that she would let out the pain from her sin, cry it out onto you, and ask you for a new start.  Grace means it's never to late to change the ending to the story. Help her begin again. In Jesus name..

The Gift in Enduring

What are you enduring right now? 
Are you waiting for someone to come back?
Are you waiting for someone to finally make a decision?
Are you waiting for your circumstances to improve? Leave? Melt into the atmosphere?


Or maybe you wait to be recognized for the work you do that no one seems to notice. Maybe you're waiting on God to prove to you once again that He is real. Life and people and loved ones have disappointed you so much that you've blamed God for it all and thrown in the towel.  "It's just easier to do it myself" you might say.  Is it though?

I have endured long periods of waiting myself.  I waited for my momma to come back from the beauty shop....and she never did.  I waited for my brother to find enduring sobriety.  He never did. I waited for my father to walk into my life and introduce himself. He never did. I waited for the envelope to come with his picture in it.  The envelope came. But it was empty.  I have waited for  children to return. They come and they go and they come.  Steady.  Enduring.

It's all about me in those scenarios.  I want outcomes.  I want things to look and feel right. I want peace. I want everyone to be okay. I want to be acknowledged and validated.  I want love.

Then the dawning.

Ahhh.  Father God waits for me to realize He was there all along in my imperfect and messy life. He was waiting for me to see the reality.  See Him in the mess. Instead, I kept white knuckling my Christianity into making everything try to be presentable to people.  Oh, I knew about His involvement, and occasionally He did speak on it. But it wasn't until the day I saw the darkness of the ME in it and my incredible tenacity for being in control, that I realized...He had endured and waited for me. 

I repented of my self.

He offered me something in exchange for my repentence of self. He offered me Himself. Not just his gifts, direction, answers, and what He gives. He gave me Himself.  Everything He does came in with Him. No more picking and choosing. The Breakthrough.

I am all in.

Whether they never show up, come home, or return...whoever they are in the moment, He is enough in that moment where I must sit in it. I can endure anything in this imperfect life of dissatisfying encounters because His perfect self resides in me.

He implores me in my dissatisfying and disappointing places to Be present with Him.  I can be present. He is here! Mess or no mess!  He is sufficient in the present. He will be enough in the next present moment. It's like you just received the worst news in some of those disappointing places, and your perfect dream dad walks in the room and just sits with you and speaks hope. Can't you just sit in it with Him, and let His presence be comforting?

Purpose.

Oh, so much purpose.  His purpose is perfect for my imperfect life. His purpose is to remind me of the people, places and things I am prone to wandering off with or to instead of Him. When I do I miss His glory. His presence. His self.

He is my purpose. He is my prize. Hmmmm ...so worth the enduring. 

But the secret is this: in this way of life and knowing Him and His presence, I see  two distinct treasures.
He is the first treasure, and as I behold Him first, I see myself in his image.  And I come to know myself as His treasure. Treasure and worth are found in His image.

When I know my value, I am free to not make it about my self. It's Himself in myself looking outward.

-Roxanna Grimes

Endurance

The E in P E A R L is Endurance. A pearl's development process is an enduring one through years of resistance and irritation- and obviously takes place in a dark enclosed space- an oyster host. If we can learn to see our process like that of a pearl, we can learn to endure through surrendering imperfections and irritations to a perfect God. And on top of that- God is Father too!  So He does so with kindness, perfection, and our best interests in mind.

 

Is this real life?

 

We all want infomercials to be real, right? Am I the only one who longs for the miracle of Oxyclean doing my toughest laundry in under a minute like the time-lapse demonstration shows? Or facial cream that will tighten my slightly wrinkled face (emphasis on slightly) overnight. Am I the only one that longs for ...true confessions...a Snuggie? OK...the Snuggie is totally beside the point. (But I really do want one..)

 

Anyway, what I am getting at is that infomercial transformations like dirty clothes to clean clothes seem like miracles because they happen so fast. But they are not miracles. Most of those transformations can happen in real life...just not so quickly. Other infomercial transformations of deep wrinkles turning to flawless skin seem like miracles because they would be if they actually worked. But real life transformation, especially in the spiritual/soul department, doesn't work like infomercial transformations.

 

First, stuff doesn't happen instantly; Like my transformation from being an angry and bitter wife to a content and patient wife. Second, some stuff can't happen without divine intervention; Like my transformation from being an angry and bitter wife to a content and patient wife (More on that in future blogs). So, I guess I am thankful that I am not living an infomercial life where my spiritual transformation depends on the next trendy, man-made thing. I mean, how is a shamWOW going to help me begin to understand God's love and purpose in my life? And how is a Slapchop going to give me hope and endurance as I face the pain that transformation requires? Only my heavenly Father can do that..because He made real life. He is my creator and the creator of the world I live in. He knows exactly what my transformation requires...He planned it.

 

Romans 5:4-5 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

 

 

 

 Kim Newmyer is a songwriter and worship leader whose whole heart recently tapped into the deep love of Father God and the empowerment of Christ in her life.  She sings , mentors, and testifies of His abilifying nature in her daily life of being wife to a therapist, mother of two preschool daughters, and working full-time.